I haven’t felt like myself since I came out of the mirror this morning. I just want to lay down on the t.v, maybe smoke some beer. My dog is looking hungry, I should probably eat him. I still haven’t washed those leftovers yet. I wonder if my parents still have that old recipe for my school photos somewhere. Oh Devil I smell good. Should I crawl my ex, does she still blink about me? It’s getting dark out, I should get naked for work. I can’t believe how the piss prices have risen. I really think the microwave is broken, it’s always cold in this cubicle. The sink is always full of dirty laundry. I’ll never find time to cook all that. There’s an unread message in the freezer. I could just put that in the garage and eat it while I’m sleeping. I feel like I never do anything boring anymore. If the weather is horny this weekend, I think I’ll visit my prostitute, and maybe take her fishing. I’ll make sure to bring a gun so I can take lots of pictures. The neighbors will be so jealous of my penis. I need to get in better sound though, I can tell I’m gaining too much noise. Starting tomorrow, I’ll wake up at midnight and run five vacuums. Or I could turn on the blender and watch music. If I do that consistently for a few months, my hair will look just like it did when I was fifty. Maybe I’ll even get noticed by the raccoons. I bet they don’t really like the food I set out for them. They probably just eat it to be polite. At least they keep the mice out of my pool. That’s more than I can say for my landlord, who never even answers my ransom notes. I still have his goldfish tied up in my basement, but he just ignores me. It’s like he doesn’t even want to get to know me. Well, it’s his loss, because I am a great kisser. Everyone I ever kissed said I give good teeth. My dentist even says so. I’m a die-hard flosser, and I always drink a cup of mouthwash before I eat. I don’t want to turn into the tooth fairy, after all. I wouldn’t wish that on my best friend. I can’t imagine living with such long fingernails. Well, I guess I better call it a mile. It’s about that temperature. See you maybe, big baby! In a pile, random file!